What do I miss about life before this virus?

I miss being with the people I love—gathering together on Sunday mornings to raise our voices in song, to hear the Word of God preached while I’m seated among friends, their children playing quietly on the floor or bringing the sticker-covered papers they “made” for me. I miss holding their babies and hugging their necks and being in the closeness with all of them. I miss sharing Communion with them—dipping our bread (or gluten-free Chex) in the shared juice cup as we all together partake in the shared grace and mercy poured out in each of our hearts by the God who made us one together in Him.

I miss sharing my joys and sufferings, laughter and tears, with the people I love sitting right in front of my face because we gathered for small group or a movie night or book club or Whole30-approved apps at a local restaurant.

I miss my babysitting clients. I miss the freedom to determine when, where, and if I will work, and the freedom to not inform anyone if I don’t want to.

I miss the illusion of safety—the ability to walk past a stranger without wondering if this invisible thing will jump from one to another, to leave my front door without wondering if I am taking my life—or everyone else’s!—in my hands by going to work so that I can afford groceries and rent. I miss believing that I will always be able to afford groceries and rent.

I miss the buzz of life being lived wherever I went. Now it just feels like we’re all waiting for life to finish its hard stop and holding our breaths, wondering if it will start living again before we run out of air.

I miss breathing easy.

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